I am a Christian trying to discover and believe my identity in Christ. I have been involved in a number of churches: charismatic, non-charismatic, charismatic-neutral, conservative, evangelical, Baptist, Presbyterian, independent, cell churches, house churches, church planting churches. Large, small, medium, new, old, north, south, east, west. I’ve been there, and it’s been fun.
It’s also been painful. I’ve been hurt in some of those places. I’ve probably caused hurt too. I’ve felt pushed away at times. Once, I just walked away, didn’t tell anyone. I just couldn’t face it any more – and still can’t. That tore me apart inside. I’ve had many difficult experiences in life, but walking away from a church and not being able to turn back – through no fault of that church – was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
But now I’m settled in a new church. It’s a wonderful place, and again, very different to all the other churches I have been in. It’s a fresh start. It’s a time to rediscover what it means to be a “Christian”. And it feels different this time. I feel no pressure. It’s a liberating experience. I am discovering that it’s not about striving to be someone I’m not, but to be who I was created to be. It’s about being me. It’s about finding out who I am.
It’s about who I am in Christ. It’s not about how many converts I make. It’s not about how many church meetings I go to. It’s not about how much time or money I give. It’s not about how many times I can strategically drop Jesus into conversation.
It is about knowledge, but not complicated theology. No, it’s about my relationship with my creator. It’s knowing that I am justified through Christ. It’s about knowing that I’ve been bought with a price. It’s about knowing that I am free from condemnation, that I am a citizen of Heaven, that I am a saint, that I am born of God and that the evil one cannot touch me. It’s about knowing that, even though I am a rotten sinner, I am a friend of Christ.
I am a friend of Christ? Help me get my head around that, and what that means…
