In You, O LORD, I put my trust; Let me never be put to shame.
Deliver me in Your righteousness, and cause me to escape; Incline Your ear to me, and save me.
Be my strong refuge, To which I may resort continually;
You have given the commandment to save me, For You are my rock and my fortress.Deliver me, O my God, out of the hand of the wicked, Out of the hand of the unrighteous and cruel man.
For You are my hope, O Lord GOD; You are my trust from my youth.
By You I have been upheld from birth; You are He who took me out of my mother’s womb. My praise shall be continually of You.
(Psalm 71:1-6, New King James Version [NKJV])
It’s hard to trust God when you can’t see what He’s doing, or He doesn’t seem to give you answers. That’s how I’ve been feeling on and off for the past few months. All I’ve seen is doors slammed shut, and haven’t seen any open. Am I missing them? Are they not there? Have I missed the point entirely?
Today was one of those bad, unconstructive days of wondering what I’m doing and what my purpose is. It was a struggle to get out of bed. I felt I had nothing to get up for. My lack of purpose is virtually killing me at times, in a physical and mental sense. I have days when my entire being just halts, shuts down. Nothing works. I hibernate. I avoid people. The world passes me by. I sit at my chair and I mull. I despair. I am paralysed.
My life doesn’t make sense. But somehow, I muster the faith to believe that God will bring me through. I look at how He has pulled me through before and I choose to believe He will again. I trust that He knows what He’s doing, even though I am lost and miserable.
Give me hope, Lord. Give me strength for tomorrow. Give me purpose. Save me from my slumber. I beg thee – show me the path forward, and your plans for me. My accuser prods me, tells me you don’t care for your people. Demonstrate your power, Lord. Vindicate me – or show me where I’ve gone wrong.
