How generous are you? I like to think that I’m fairly generous. I’m not rich, but I try not to hold in to what money I have too dearly – although I admit, I could probably tithe more generously. I’d like to think I’m generous with my time, investing in other people. I’d like to think I’m good at welcoming people into my home and to helping them when they are in need. So, in that sense, do I come across as a ‘good Christian’? To some, maybe. But then Jesus comes along and talks about how a Christian should truly be marked in their walk with God:
“Here’s another old saying that deserves a second look: ‘Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.’ Is that going to get us anywhere? Here’s what I propose: ‘Don’t hit back at all.’ If someone strikes you, stand there and take it. If someone drags you into court and sues you for the shirt off your back, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. And if someone takes advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously.
(Matthew 5:38-42, The Message)
Ouch. The screw tightens, my pride cries out. Do I still come across as such a ‘good Christian’? No. I fall well short of the Glory of God (Romans 3:23). It’s easy for me to be generous to people I know, to my friends. I can serve them easily because I know they will serve me too. But what about people who won’t serve me in return? I don’t serve those people quite so easily. If I do serve them, I don’t serve them with my whole heart, with willingness, with a joyful spirit. I bemoan how ungrateful they are, how they need manners, or how they need Jesus to meet them powerfully in their lives – as if I, somehow, have been perfected to a point where I don’t need Jesus myself any more (which I haven’t; I need Him as much as I ever have)!
But you see, it’s not even in the serving that I fall short. What happens when people behave unjustly towards me? I cry out for ‘justice’ to be done! I long for them to be brought to their knees in repentance! O, how I cry out that God would smite them and turn them into creatures the size of ants. Then, they would think twice before doing that again!
That puts me at the centre of everything. Suddenly, everything is about me, myself and I. It’s not about God. It’s just about me wanting some kind of sadistic penance. How very Christian of me. I lose my perspective. It’s true, those people who have dealt me an injustice have sinned, they do need to repent of their sin, but it’s not me who they need to repent to – it’s God. When I lose sight of that, when I lose sight of the fact that it’s all about God’s relationship with that person, and most certainly not about my vindictive character, I lose sight of the cross.
I’m not such a ‘good Christian’ after all. In fact, I’m pretty rubbish. Thank God for grace. Give me your grace, Lord! Give me the strength to follow your ways and your teaching! For if there’s one thing I know, clearly, it’s that of my own doing, I cannot attain those ways of my own doing.
